Home   New Mail!  Contacts  Who's Online  Friends  Search  Advice  Forum  Blogs  Groups  Mall  Chat  My Account  Clubs  Travel  Login  
  18 members in chat22 in bOOty Call
 
Lifestyle Sexual Advice
Performance anxiety
Meeting and greeting!
more sexual advice advice
Lifestyle Etiquette
House swapping
Whose Checking Me Out!
more etiquette advice
Relationship Advice
Agreements and why they need to be rock solid
Rules require honesty and validation
more relationship advice
Friendships, Clubs & More...
Viagra
Best Vegas Clubs
more friendship advice
  
Question: My wife want's out....How should I handle this?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My wife and I have been married for 3 yrs. My second, her third, I'm 49, she's 52. We got involved in the lifestyle about 5 yrs ago while dating. I had few partners before her and was in a dismal 25 yr. vanilla marriage. She has had over 2 dozen partners in and out of relationships. We first started going to clubs in Chicago, then pool parties at the club the following day. We then went to Desire in Cancun and returned the following year. (two weeks ago)
The problem is this; about 6 months ago, she decided she had had enough. No warning, no buildup, and just like that, we were just going to go and enjoy the atmosphere, and watch. When we got into this, we had the usual awkward period, the girls only play period, soft swapping, and eventually full swap. After we were married, she said that she felt comfortable swapping, but not before. Then it was, "I need to lose some weight" Now, it's "I don't need another man in me". and "I can't stand seeing you with another woman" I'm feeling that I have been tricked into a relationship that isn't all that it appeared to be. I see other women of all ages/sizes enjoying the experience and I can't help but feel she has ended this for both of us without a good reason. I'm mad now that she has, and have strarted pulling away from her in bed because I can't make the feeling go away that she has done something pretty self-serving and arbitrary on her part with little or no regard for my needs. I know after a little while she'll get bored and start to mention parties we can go to. I'm planning on just ignoring her requests and just pursue a totally vanilla lifestyle with little or no sex to punish her for her selfishness. I don't always have to screw someone to have a good time, and neither does she, but it has become such a large part of our social fabric, that we have neglected almost all of our other friends too. Now, I'm faced with the prospect of either going out with Ward and June Cleaver and doing my wife until I'm bored stupid, or just saying We're not going anywhere at all because of the way I feel.
How should I handle this? My next thought is to find a new partner who is REALLY into the lifestyle, not just faking it till we get hitched. Pissed off in Wisconsin.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

We would advise you both to take a serious break from the lifestyle and work on your own relationship before it is too late.
It sounds like both of you are harboring animosity towards each other and hiding feelings and thoughts from each other...if you truly love each other you need to lay everything you both are feeling out in the open.

After all you married each other because you are in love with each other ...not to have each other as partners to participate in the lifestyle. Right?
It sounds like you have made the lifestyle the focus of your relationship....not your marriage to your wife.

Sincerely,
Click here to view Lounge Advice archives
100's of answers to your lifestyle questions can be found here!