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Question: I just don't want us perceived as bed post notchers!

Dear Lounge Advice,

My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for about 3 years. We love meeting people and have made some great friends. Here is my problem...my husband does not want to have sex with the same couple more than once (on a rare occassion twice). His reasoning is that when we got into the lifestyle it was to spice up our sex life with variety, not get into relationships with other couples (in one situation a couple wanted to be with us every time we were at a party...to the point that they would come and start talking to us, even if we were busy with another couple at the time). It really isn't a bed post notching thing...he's not going after numbers...it's more that he likes to keep some distance. My question...should I mention this up front? I have with people that we have gotten to know prior and have gotten some mixed reactions. Is this unusual to be like this? I just don't want us perceived as bed post notchers!



Dear (Anonymous),

Everybody had their own pace and preference on how they feel about friendships in the lifestyle.

Our advice would be not to worry too much about this...couples who get "too clingy" eventually move on to other adventures and other couples if they are not be received with open arms by you and your partner.

There is nothing wrong with making close friends in the lifestyle...but that does not mean that every couple you play with has to be your "new best friends".

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