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Question: How can I gently persuade him to seriously consider the idea of swinging

Dear Lounge Advice,

My husband and I have been together for 9 years, and our sexlife has been one of the most satisfying aspects of our life. We've really opened up to each other as time has gone by, and as a couple have experimented with all kinds of things together (toys,pornography,anal,spanking) We talk about our fantasies, and one of the main ones he's recently really been able to talk about with me is us together with another woman, which is one of mine, too! I also fantasize about a foursome with another couple. I have looked into some swinger sites, and am very interested, but I don't think my husband feels comfortable with the idea of another man in the "bedroom" with us, my impression is he would feel jealous. How can I gently persuade him to seriously consider the idea of swinging, what is a good way to introduce both of us to the lifestyle so we can judge for ourselves if we are ready for this? I don't want to pressure him but I would like to know he has been able to consider this in a non-threatening way. (ie - by meeting others in the lifestyle and talking, but without expectations of more than that right away.) Would this be possible? I like that idea of making new friends as well as the ability to fulfill our fantasies, and I hope we can do that, if there is a way!



Dear (Anonymous),

This is definitely something to take your time with. Fantasies are not something to be rushed...especially if both of you are not aware of what the other would like to try.

Tell your husband about your fantasy and see what his reaction or advice is.
Make sure to reinforce that you are madly in love with him and very satisfied with him still...but would love to try something new and erotic that involves him.
Ask him if he would be interested in helping make your fantasy come true.

Work on your fantasy together and make it a team effort between the two of you.

If you hang out at enough parties and events ...you two are bound to run into a couple that excites both of you equally enough to present the opportunity to fulfill this fantasy.


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