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Lifestyle Sexual Advice
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Lifestyle Etiquette
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Friendships, Clubs & More...
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Question: It is really hard to find a single serious female to play with . We are really new to the lifestyle, any idea where to look ?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My husband and I came into this lifestyle lookin for our first 3some, butit really hard to find a single serious female to play with . We are really new to the lifestyle, any idea where to look in the detroit area.



Dear (Anonymous),

Here, we see economic principles come into play. Scarcity vs. demand. Single females are a rare commodity in the lifestyle, but they are out there. Single women probably have the toughest time since they are in such high demand.
I started off as a single female, looking to be with a woman. I never entertained joining a site such as this, since I was already overwhelmed with choices. You'll find that many singles don't prefer to join online sites for swingers because frankly, they get hounded. Don't get your hopes up too high, because it is a very tough endeavor, especially when you are isolating your search to a particular area.
The thing I suggest to all couples searching for this (and trust me, there are MANY just like you with the same goal in mind) is to find female friends. I kid you not, when my ex-husband and I searched out this very thing, we noticed that merely approaching them on a site with the obvious intention of getting them in bed never seemed to work.
So, we tried a different approach. We made friends with them first. Make it very clear, that when you contact a female, your girl is looking for a friend to hand out with. Make it all about the girls, and their fun. As much as it may pain the male to start out this way, it's better in the long run. Do NOT bring up sex or 3-somes until the single girl does. Offer her, genuinely, a no-pressure environment in which she'll feel comfotable hanging out. It usually doesn't work to try to meet them for the first time by themselves. Single girls have good reason not to trust this kind of situation. Tell her where you hang out, or figure out her favorite hangout spot, and meet there.
If you get that far, just be friendly. Don't make advances, just make friends.
All of the single females that I've experienced in the past only took part in 3-somes because they felt safe, unpressured, and had a downright good time after they became friends.
Your girl is going to have to do the legwork on this, so the single fems don't think it's just some guy trying to get laid by using his bisexual wife as bait.
Just be cool, don't be too eager, and plan on making friends.
One more thing: This may sound unorthodox, but if you are in this to expereince a 3-some just for the sake of doing it, I've known many couples to find a hot escort and just do it.
Many people stick their noses up at this, but I've seen the same people expend copious amounts of money and effort trying to woo single females, only to have nothing come of it. Getting an escort ensures that you'll get to pick from numerous beautiful girls, you're gauranteed some action, and you'll have someone with skills too!
Something to consider.

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