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Lifestyle Sexual Advice
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Question: I like this guy, but what are his intentions?

Dear Lounge Advice,
I met a guy on the internet a couple months ago...I am still communicating with other men online. He asked me if I would be interested in doing this as a couple I said I would check it out...I am still deciding. My concern is I like this guy but now I am wondering if he is doing it just to get laid by hot women....I am starting to feel kind of jealous because we havent yet expereince our own sexual desires together....Part of me wants to do this and then part of me said I dont want to share.....I'm so confused.



Dear (Anonymous),

It doesn't really sound as if you're searching a swing partner right off the bat. It's apparent that you'd prefer to build personal relations with a partner, then, if everything goes well, you would entertain swinging together.
Unfortunately, you're going to find that a great many (but not all) single males interested in the lifestyle are seeking a partner just so they can increase their chances of play.
When I met my partner as a single male on a swinger's site, and eventually became his other half, we were adamant about experiencing and learning about each other long before we entertained this lifestyle. Even then, it was I who brought it up.
In your situation, I would feel a bit conflicted if someone I was truly interested in as a partner wanted to leap on the swing wagon without wanting to explore 'us' first.
What I suggest is that you let him know exactly how you feel. Tell him what you told me.
His answer to you will reveal his intentions. If he persists in asking you to swing with him, you know where his interests lie. But, you might be surprised, and find out that he doesn't realize that propositioning you about the lifestyle is making you insecure, and he may back off and pursue a one-on-one relationship with you before considering this again.
It's hard to tell the outcome of this, but this is in your hands. Speak up, or you will remain confused.
Remember, the lifestyle is all about communication. If you both can't communicate this early on, then there's no need to go any further, either with a relationship or with this.

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