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Question: We're new, so what do we do??

Dear Lounge Advice,

We're brand new at this lifestyle and not sure how to aproach it. Do you have any advice to help us commence our journey?

Thanks!!

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

We've all been there! Yes, you'll be nervous. Yes, you'll be unsure of what to expect. Yes, you will have fears. It's normal. After you've talked and evaluated your reasons for wanting to swing, and you feel it is right for you, explore away! Meeting people online is a great way to begin your quest. Get to know different types of people and see who gives you the best 'vibe'. You have a choice between swinging with other newbies, or more experienced swingers. There are advantages to both. Swinging with newbies usually ensures that you have similar limits, and can share your thoughts about starting out. You can relate to each other. Swinging with more experienced swingers means that you can learn a lot from them. However, they may be into more than what you are looking for right now. If your momentary boundaries are girl-girl play, either newbies or experienced swingers can be great for this. Being experienced doesn't always mean that the couple is full swap. Some very experienced swingers have remained soft-swap for years! Whoever they are, make it clear to them that you are new, and don't really know what to expect. If they are open to this, and willing accept it, go for it! If they try to talk you into doing more, be hesitant, because this can cause troubles for you. A very small minority of experienced swingers will try to prey on newbies, coercing them into something they don't want to do quite yet. Some swingers like the feeling of 'breaking in' new people to the lifestyle. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it may not be what you are seeking. We tend to like new swingers because we know that they haven't been around, and we respect their limits. We certainly don't do it for bragging rights, but some do. You'll find, for the most part, though, people in the lifestyle are polite, and much more respectful. Just relax, know your limits, get a good feel for people, and proceed at your own pace! Don't ever feel pressured. Nobody can make you do anything that you aren't comfortable with.
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