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Lifestyle Sexual Advice
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Question: I want to get my wife into this lifestyle, but how?

Dear Lounge Advice,

I have been married for 13 wonderful loving years with two kids and no want for change. even though our sex life is null to non-existent. i'm very sensual sexual person and she's not as we have talked about our sexual drives and wants.
I recently have had a sexual rebirth if you will and would like to try to get into the lifestyle. I understand cheating is bad.
my question is knowing my wife i don't think and can't imagine her involved in the lifestyle or the fringe, though i would love it.
what suggestions do you have? I have met a few lifestyle people and couples socially all extremely nice and I wood like to get more involved if you know what I mean.

any help or thoughts



Dear (Anonymous),

Please do not push your partner into doing anything she is not comfortable doing. This will only cause problems in you relationship. If you want to get her interested, sit down and talk to her about your desires. Show her a website like this one, or a website of a local swinger's club. Explain to her that you can start on a swinger's site and see what happens. If she shows interest, great........but take it very slowly. You can't expect her to go from posting an ad to meeting a couple for full swap. Ask her if she would like to go to a club just to watch sometime, and take small steps from there accordingly.
If your mate expresses that she is just not interested, leave it at that. Tell her that is she would like to entertain the possibility, then she can bring it up when she's ready. Do not push! It will only make her feel insecure and make her wonder why you want to do this so badly. Women are delicate creatures sometimes, and we tend to analyze men's motives.
Guys, the best way to make her feel secure in entering the lifestyle is to reassure her that you love her, that she's beautiful, and that you are doing this not to find something better than her, but to enhance your relationship. If she doesn't hear this reassurance regularly, she will most likely assume that she just isn't enough for you, and that is why you feel the desire to swing.

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