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Question: How do I know if she's taking me for the team?

Dear Lounge Advice,

Follow up question. Once again you have nailed an issue. Like you I also reasoned, "Hey, if he is not on board about his wife, she might be taking one for the team." Call me crazy, but I am too stinking proud to take a woman under those circumstances. It is just no fun. She might be thinking about him, or she might be thinking about getting this over with, or she might even be thinking about my drop dead beautiful bi wife, but it is certain she isn't thinking about me. And there are simply too many women that want me for my roguishly good looks, sharp wit, and under normal circumstances, Lance Armstrong of penises.

So, can you suggest a method for sounding out the wife to make sure she is not taking one for the team? I know that sounds like a dumb question, but clubs are not a normal situation and I have no experience. Normally a woman expresses interest through body language, but women in the presence of their husband appear to downgrade their body signals, even at clubs. And the men at clubs practice "aloof" to a fault. Is a direct approach best, or will it send them running?

Mr. Confused Limp Dick

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Well certainly, you wouldn't want anybody to take you for the team. Frankly, that just sucks. Take the pressure off of yourself, and have your wife probe the other lady to feel her out (no puns intended there).
Oftentimes, women can read the body language and intentions of other women much better than most men can. Plus, this way is a great way to remove any perception of you being pushy or overly inquisitive.
Think of this as a matter of covert international politics. You're trying to discern the 'other side's' motives so you can be a step ahead. The best way to do this is to send in a spy, and what better candidate for the job than your wife!
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