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Question: My husband is more intimate with others than he is with me.

Dear Lounge Advice,

I have read all of the responses you have submitted to members on this site and you seem insightful. I am hoping you can help me somewhat. My husband and I have been together a long time and in the lifestyle a couple years. We have been to clubs, parties, met with great couples in the past...and overall had fun and basically you learn as you go. Problem is....my husband has no problem kissing, caressing, sucking breasts, giving oral sex and fucking other women in the evening, but we have rarely had that kind of relationship in about a year and a half. He watches tv, drinks his liquor until he passes out.....no intimacy in the evening. He prefers sex with me in the morning.....you know, the hurried, slam bam thank you ma'm. Seems he is not concerned with pleasing me...only himself. I told him I wanted to put the lifestyle on hold for now until we could come to some kind of resolution. Seems to me a couple should give more to each other than they give to others. Until that happens, i can't go forward. What do you guys think??



Dear (Anonymous),

You guys need to talk and you have to be honest with him about YOUR feelings. The lifestyle should be all about what you guys want to do as a couple.. and an enhancement to your sexual pleasures as a couple at home- not just for one of you,and not a replacement.

In order to be able to survive in the lifestyle communication is the key component and it seems that there are issues at home that need to be addressed before you look elsewhere for pleasures. It also seems that your husband is being a tad selfish and needs to open up his eyes to your needs too. It takes two to tango in this dance.

An important point to remember is that you can't sit back and watch this happen. Be an active partner and let your needs be known.

Use the lifestyle to grow together and not become an anchor to drag your problems further down.

Good luck and let us know how it turns out !!
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