Home   New Mail!  Contacts  Who's Online  Friends  Search  Advice  Forum  Blogs  Groups  Mall  Chat  My Account  Clubs  Travel  Login  
  2 members in chat29 in bOOty Call
Lifestyle Sexual Advice
How do you get a metal cock ring on?
Does this make me a cuckold?
more sexual advice advice
Lifestyle Etiquette
Tell me how I can speed things up a little.
I am desperate to figure out how to solve this new concern
more etiquette advice
Relationship Advice
there is never enough time….
Is he hitting spots I will never be able to hit
more relationship advice
Friendships, Clubs & More...
Any suggestions as to clubs, and how we set boundaries?
vacation in Korea or Japan
more friendship advice
Question: Single male seeking swinging partner

Dear Lounge Advice,
I'm interested in the lifestyle, but don't have a relationship at this time. Where is the best place to meet a woman that is into the same thing? Obviously I want a woman that I can have a relationship with , and not just sex. Most sites are looking for couples and finding a single girl is very difficult.



Dear (Anonymous),

Well, you have two elements in place already to achieve success in your endeavor. First, you have realized that single swinging ladies are on high demand. Many men do not understand this concept, and therefore wrongly assume that finding a willing partner should be easier than it really is.
Second, you're on a site that has actually has women who are also interested in swinging, like yourself. So, this is probably the best place you can be in order to help you move forward with your goals.
The next step is patience. This will obviously take some time- a long time perhaps. If patience isn't your strongest virtue, the lack thereof will be your downfall. If you are willing to put some time into this endeavor, then I'm willing to advise you on your task.
First and foremost, you must be a gentleman, and establish yourself as such in the 'public' arena of the site. I've seen the most success stories from single men stem from none other than popularity. Popularity for single men does not come easily. You see, single men, as a whole, have managed to garner a less than prideful reputation in the online swinging arena. Many have managed to ignore all of the rules of etiquette in their online engagements, therefore making their kind as a whole look rather brutish and base. Unwanted and uncouth advancements toward couples and single females, in their eyes, appear to be the single male way of operation.
Of course, we're speaking of the majority and not the whole. There are always exceptions to rules. But as we all well know, the majority's actions determine the stereotype gifted upon the whole of their kind.
Those in other categories (i.e. couples and single females), who determine and place the stereotypes upon the single males are, by default, the determiners of your fate, if you allow it to be so.
You, as an individual, have to strive to change perceptions. People's perceptions tend to define their reality, and if the perception is negative, you have your work cut out for you.
In reality, you will find that couples and single women may both view single males as a possibility in their sex lives, but may find them to be more trouble than they are worth.
When you try to garner public popularity in your quest to find a like-minded single female, start by spending time in chat rooms and forums. Don't go in looking like a sex hound or an impatient individual seeking to accomplish only one thing. Get in there, get friendly, act like a gentleman and start socializing. Don't give anyone any inclination that you are only there to quickly reach your goal. Post intelligent, insightful responses in the forum and be a good-natured chatter. You'll have to do this for quite some time, but if you continue to prove yourself as a warm, laid-back individual, people will start recognizing you, and your popularity will grow.
My other half was a single male on a lifestyle site when I met him. I was open to single males, but found that dealing with them was more trouble than it was worth, so I was resigned to not being with one. When I got to know Scott, it was through the public forums. He wasn't pulling the usual single male stint, posting with obvious intentions to bed any woman he could. He actually posted about most everything except sexual topics and had a sense of humor that just wouldn't quit. He also had a very insightful, well-articulated profile with flattering, mostly clothed photos which indicated that he was an individual of substance who was just looking for friends, and anything else would be a perk.
Single men like that garner a lot of attention. He certainly got mine. So, here we are today, as a couple.
Good luck in your quest!
Click here to view Lounge Advice archives
100's of answers to your lifestyle questions can be found here!