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Question: I'm a single girl who loves the lfiestyle, but loves to date men and women too...what to do?

Dear Lounge Advice,
I'm a young bi female enjoying the splendors of the lifestyle, but I have just one problem. Along with couples, I date single girls and boys also, and I dread the day when I have to tell them about my "other" life. I know if it's a girl, it's probably going to confuse her and make her question my feelings. I know if it's a guy, he will probably want to join in, but I prefer to do this alone, it may seem selfish but I like being the single female. I was wondering on advice on how to break it to them, if at all. Should I stop once I get into a serious relationship?
Thank you so much


Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

This is a critical piece of information that you should be telling partners from the get-go. Anything that you consider to be an integral part of who you are should be made known to the people you decide to date. The more you wait on revealing the information, the harder it will be on you both.
If you are telling a male about this, and you're aware of his probable reaction, you will also need to inform him that you wish to partake in the lifestyle alone.
By telling partners right away, the potential for hurt will diminish. Also, your partners will be given the courtesy of deciding whether they should be using their precious time to continue pursuing you, or whether they should just move on.
I certainly wouldn't appreciate dating someone, forming an attachment, then finding out that a part of their life is something that I just wouldn't be able to handle. I would feel betrayed and misguided, not to mention feel that I had just wasted my time because someone wasn't up-front with me from the start.
If you do venture into the arena of serious relationships, it us up to you and your partner to decide whether you should be involved in the lifestyle anymore. After all, a serious partnership is comprised of both individuals making the decisions for the common good of the relationship. That is just a bridge you will have to cross when you get there.
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