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Question: Should we ask for references from a single male?

Dear Lounge Advice,

As a couple that meets single males, is it tacky to ask for other couples the male has been with? Plus is it worse to then contact those couples to ask if he's for real?


Thanks
Careful Couple

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

I would consider that to be poor etiquette. Directly asking him for 'references' is probably not the best idea.
While it is quite prudent to be careful, it's quite another thing to overstep boundaries before even getting to know someone.
Just put yourself in his position. If someone asked you who you have been with, and you knew they were then questioning those former bedmates, would you consider it to be invasive? At the very least, that method would leave anyone feeling self-conscious and 'put under a miscroscope'.
Instead, just take some time to communicate with your chosen SM directly to find out a little bit more about his personality and to get a feel for his possible sexual prowess.

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