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Question: I may be having feelings for our single male playmate.

Dear Lounge Advice,
My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for awhile now, we've done soft/full swap, but recently got into threesomes, mfm. We've had several mfm with the same guy and I'm finding myself in unfamiliar territory. I'm very attracted to this guy, which my husband knows, but the guy & I have become more than just friends w/benefits, I think. Is it possible to have feelings for this guy or is it just lust? Please help!

Confused

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Feelings are definitely possible. In my case, it happened. My ex-husband and I didn't have the most secure relationship and my single male partner and I were a perfect match. Intense feeling, and eventually love, came into play throughout the course of our friendship. Now, this man is my lifelong partner.
I can't necessarily determine whether you are facing feelings or a deep lust for this man. Perhaps it is just the thrill of being with someone single, and may be the same type of feeling that was so exciting for you when you were still on the dating scene.
That is for you to figure out. What does your heart tell you? If you do think that this could be the beginning of serious feelings for your single male friend, you should really reevaluate your 'realtionship' with him. If you deem your marriage more important than this other man, perhaps it's time to back away and determine your priorities.
However, not knowing the dynamics of your relationship with your husband, I cannot deliver more specific guidance for you.
Since your particular situation is very reminiscent of my recent past, I need to tread lightly in offering advice to you, especially given the nature of my decision to leave my husband. I made a rather unorthodox decision, but I don't necessarily recommend my actions to anyone else.
If you have a wonderful marriage, please don't let your feelings for another man ruin this.
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