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Question: He wants to partake in this lifestyle, but I'm not so sure

Dear Lounge Advice,
The love of my life,the one who has made me consider a serious relationship for the long hall, kids and all, the one who has introduced me to this lifestyle I belive in, is also a man who insists on not speaking or questioning about our sexual activities without each other. The possibility of him establishing sexual relations without my involvement and pleasure has made me feel left out and I hate to say it, but insecure mostly. He says that we should conduct our business respectfully and then we will return to each other. These feelings I have about this don't seem to match my beliefs about men and relationships. My deep seated belief since childhood is that monogamy will be broken and we shouldn't try to live that way and here I am with a man reflecting that back to me BIG TIME. On one hand I feel his idea is just and honorable and the way it should be and on the other hand I feel like a second class female at home while daddy could be fuckin the maid and of course I need some fuckin' right now too because I always do. I know bad! Would you call me selfish or greedy? I wish I desired strange cock like he does pussy, but I don't. When he visits the LL site I feel the possibility of him looking strickly for his benifit and it terrifies me especially if we haven't had some rocking sex that day, Which shouldn't be the case ever, but really who wants to fuck a teary eyed freak who isn't smiling at the moment? These feelings in me are tearing us apart and my deep strange sadness he resents! My insecurites he resents! I go in and out of feeling like myself and his philosophy has distracted me from me, even though I Know the Lifestyle is ok. HELP!
This is years of conditioning on us all. I really do believe that sex and love are NOT personal and they are just acts. My mind wants the Zanax, but no can do.
Perhaps I'm jealous because I don't get fluffed by him like the other ladies that don't have to live with him! I don't know
sincerely,
Out of my mind

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Communication is not only paramount is lifestyle relations, but it life relations. If he insists on conducting your relationship devoid of this key element, he is choosing to undermine the fundamental elements of a healthy foundation. You are fully entitled to your wishes in this case. If you are uncomfortable with the closest person in your life, it's not much of a life. Put your foot down! If he does not respect your wishes, he does not respect you.
Do not do anything you do not feel comfortable with. Please.
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