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Question: We met a great couples, had great sex, but we think things were too rushed to enjoy?

Dear Lounge Advice,
Well, we did it! We went to our first party and it was more than we had imagined. I wrote to you about a week ago asking advice on what we could expect from this "social" we were attending and I want to thank you for everything you had to say. Not only did your response make us feel more comfortable, but reading your website answered every question we had about this lifestyle.

We met a couple on line about 7 weeks ago and had decided to meet and attend this party together. Unfortunately because of the weather in MA Saturday night, the party got canceled. But the party was in a hotel and we had met at the bar there. When we finally got to meet our new friends, my partner and I were very pleased. We sat at the bar and had a great time drinking and talking. After a "few" cocktails everyone was very comfortable with each other and things began to get a little crazy. I couldn't wait to give my new "girlfriend" a kiss (especially in front of the men), so I just landed one on her with everyone watching. We definitely turned heads in there. It wasn't long before we were being cut off at the bar and found ourselves back in our hotel room. I don't even think we were through the door before my new "girlfriend" was completely naked pulling for my own clothes to come off. The next thing I know, the four of us paired off with each other's partner with us girls giving blow jobs to the men. I really wanted to watch my boyfriend with his playmate and I wanted to see if he was enjoying himself, but everything was happening so fast. Like I told you earlier, this was our first time doing this and it was important for me to get his response. I wanted to see his reaction with being with another woman and I wanted to see his reaction with me being with another man.

I couldn't even tell you how long our escapade lasted but when it was all said and done and we were alone in our bed, we definitely had a lot to talk about. As our friends were leaving, the husband made a comment that I was his new "girl" and that he loved me or something. Well, needless to say, that didn't sit well with my boyfriend. My boyfriend is not the jealous type nor is he worried that I could ever feel anything for a man I "played" with, but comments like that are not needed in situations like this. Our new friends are people that we would definitely see again and I know we could have a good time with them but somehow we need to tell the husband not to make comments like he did Saturday night. Any advice?

Overall, we had a good experience. Next time we just hope things aren't as rushed. I want to take my time and enjoy watching my man play with another woman. I also want to spend more time with another woman, especially since that curiosity is what got us here in the first place. We followed all of your advice and made rules for ourselves and much to my surprise I found that this lifestyle is something I know I will really enjoy. I agree that if you set rules and follow them that this can be a fun and exciting thing to share with the person you love. And I definitely agree that this lifestyle makes couples stronger in their relationship. It just makes you realize how much you love what you already have at home.

Thank you again for all of your wonderful advice and hopefully sometime in the future my partner and I will see you in one of those fabulous clubs in South Florida.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Thank you for the nice compliments. The truth of the matter is that we have the distinction of having made all the mistakes in the past for you, and are only speaking from experience. good and bad, but thanks for the pat on the back.

In reference to you new friend making an uncomfortable comment, Many times when someone says something that seems off base, its either a mistake or they are just not thinking-or making a bad joke. What we usually do is rather than be confrontational, just ask for some clarification of exactly what they meant by that. If it is something you find offensive, just tell them that you dont appreciate comments like that, even in a joking manner.

The important thing is to not just let it go. Deal with it right then and there. Later on, they will give you the "Oh you must have heard me wrong" excuse....
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