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Question: How do I introduce my wife to this?

Dear Lounge Advice,

I am interested in exploring the Lifestyle with my partner but we have never discussed this subject. I know that even the mere suggestion thereof may not go over well with her so,...

What are some things I could introduce or suggest we investigate that may lead to further discussion and move us toward this direction?

Sean

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

First, you might want to think about how she'll feel knowing that you're on here advertising as a single male looking for playmates. That will be the first surefire way to turn her off to this, so you may want to rethink your stay here until you've approached her properly and she's interested. You need to be in agreement about this as a couple. This lifestyle is about couples, and if you're doing this already without her, you've started out on the wrong foot.

Please do not push your partner into doing anything she is not comfortable doing. This will only cause problems in your relationship. If you wish to get her interested, sit down and talk to her about your desires. Show her a swinger’s website or a website of a local swinger's club. Explain to her that you can start on a swinger's site and see what happens. If she shows interest, great, but take it very slowly. You can't expect her to go from posting an ad to meeting a couple for full swap. Ask her if she would like to go to a club just to watch sometime, and take small steps from there accordingly.
As excited as you may be about swinging, it is best to step back and ascertain the best way for you both to enter the lifestyle comfortably. Your partner may require extensive time and exposure to feel at ease with this idea. Remember that many people hold misconceptions about the lifestyle and may need this time and experience to help clear up misunderstandings.
If you both do consider taking it further than online exploration, try attending a pressure-free event, such as a meet and greet, and make it clear that neither one of you is expected to do anything at all. This way, your experience will be much less intimidating and she will be more inclined to explore further.
If all goes well the first time them have her decide which event she might like to try the next time.

Your partner may warm up to the lifestyle a bit more if she enjoys the parties and the company and realizes that the stereotypes surrounding the lifestyle are often false and contrived. Attending lifestyle events serves many purposes for first-timers, or those who are otherwise timid of the initial experience. As a rule, she will be able to see firsthand the wonderful people that are involved in this, and understand that lifestylers are not depraved sexual predators, nor are they devoid of morals or couth. Morals are so subjective anyways, aren’t they? In fact, anyone who attends a lifestyle event will see just how ‘normal’ many of these people are. Lifestylers are a microcosm of society, and come from all walks of life. They just happen to be a bit more open-minded in their sexual outlooks than most.


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