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Question: I'm just needing some insight on this selfish lifestyle?

Dear Lounge Advice,
First of all I'm still confused about this lifestyle.I Just don't get it. Why be in a relationship with someone.I'm talking about the swinger lifestyle. Here is this couple theylive the swinger lifestyle. Which means to me they can play around with other couples, with the consent of there spouse or loved ones. My question to you is if that's the case why bother being in a serious relationship. Why not be single and mingle with whomever they please. I'm not trying to put down swingers. I'm just needing some insight on this selfish lifestyle?



Dear (Anonymous),

I don't feel that I should justify this to someone who is a member of a swinger's site. I'm not intending to be rude, but my question to you is, why are you here if you belive that it is a selfish lifestyle and you don't understand its purposes? IF you don't truly understand this lifestyle, this site is no place for you to be. Or perhaps, if you're already here, you may want to garner more experience before jumping to unsound conclusions.
From the tone of your letter, it almost seems as if you're here against your will, and perhaps a partner is pushing you into it. IF this is the case, don't let it happen. If you are in a committed relationship and are here because you are of the same mindset as your partner, and want to expand your sexual relationship, then you will TRULY understand why people do this.
It is not something that I can simply explain or justify to anyone who is not of the prepared to partake in it.
I might as well try to explain the reasons for this to my parents. I could use every intricacy and nuance of the English language to eloquently illuminate my reasons, but they will never understand. It simply isn't something they want, nor will understand since they are not of the mindset to do it.
Apparently, you are not of the mindset to be here either. This is not a putdown, nor does it have a negative connotation. Some people just aren't supposed to be involved in certain sectors.
I don't understand vows of celibacy in the religious realm, but by no means am I going to try to truly understand the line of thought because I can never truly comprehend it. Why? I know in my heart that I don't belong in that lifestyle.
I will leave you with this though: Those of us who are in the lifestyle for the RIGHT reasons know that this is anything but selfish. In fact, it's one of the most selfLESS things a couple could partake in. Wanting your partner to experience a broader sexual realm, and wanting your partner to garner all the enjoyment possible, while enriching an already fabulous sex life IS selfless. But, that's just my opinion.
It is abhorrent for an outsider to jump to conclusions when they have little to no information on said subject, or when they are examining it through 'dirty glasses'.

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