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Question: My woman is doing things that I'm not comfortable with

Dear Lounge Advice,

We have been in the life style for approx. 6 months. It has brought a spark to our love life. I enjoy meeting other couples and playing with other couples when the opportunity arises. My wife really enjoys meeting guys, married or single on her own, which usually means they end up at his place or car for sex. I am uncomfortable with this and have told her this, but that doesn't seem to make a difference with her.

I don't mind having a MFM with her, I do enjoy watching her excitement, but she would rather play by herself. We got into the lifestyle to meet other couples and to play with other couples.

I am bothered by the fact that she doesn't seem to care how I feel. I tell her that I am uncomfortable with her meeting these guys and she just says "I tell you everything".

I want to continue to meet other couples and play with other couples. Also, I don't mind the MFM and I would REALLY like to try an FMF.

Thanks.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

YOU are right here!! This lifestyle is about the couple, not one half of the couple. If you have told her that you don't feel comfortable with this, she should respect this. So what if she's telling you everything that is going on. If you would rather she didn't do this, YOU are number one in her life.
You need to put your foot down and stop this. Tell her that if she doesn't want to do this WITH you, she won't be doing it at all. YOu have not reached an agreement on this. If you had, it would be ok for her to play independently. However, you haven't, so it's time to put the brakes on this.
If she doesn't care how you feel, you both need to STOP and Communicate. Some kind of compromise must be reached, in which you are both comfortable. If one of you is not happy with the situation, things have gone wrong.
Your situation isn't even under the 'lifestyle' umbrella'. You're not doing anything as a couple. You've basically just acquiesced to her cheating on you.
Not fair. Not fair.
Sit down. Communicate. Come to an agreement that makes you both happy.
If you can't, cut it off entirely.
I know it's easier said than done, but it really needs to be done.
YOUR happiness matters too.
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