Home   New Mail!  Contacts  Who's Online  Friends  Search  Advice  Forum  Blogs  Groups  Mall  Chat  My Account  Clubs  Travel  Login  
  4 members in chat20 in bOOty Call
 
Lifestyle Sexual Advice
We have tried Bi sites and have not had any luck.
Does DP increase the chance of a vaginal infection?
more sexual advice advice
Lifestyle Etiquette
I have a single male friend that I play with
PTSD:What can I do to help make events more consistently enjoyable for me
more etiquette advice
Relationship Advice
How can I help her to feel more comfortable about returning to the lifestyle?
It could be a dealbreaker....
more relationship advice
Friendships, Clubs & More...
I would like to be able to meet bisexual females in Santa Monica west side area
Does my large size stop me from doing this?
more friendship advice
  
Question: My wife only wants to play when we are out of town

Dear Lounge Advice,
My wife only wants to play when we are out of town because she is concerned about being "found out" about if we were to run into someone we know at a local lifestyle club. I've tried to explain to her that most of us know how important it is to keep our private lifes private, but she is still concerned. Any ideas on something to tell her that would change her mind?

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

That's an initial fear of many people in the lifestyle, but it soon dissipates for most when they understand some of the 'unspoken' rules that are in place. If you run into someone you know at a lifestyle club, they're probably just as worried, if not more, of running into you. They want their swinging lives kept just as hushed as you do. Plus, they can't just run to the boss and say, "Hey, so and so go to the swinger's clubs". Hmm, wouldn't the boss wonder how on earth the snitch in question would know this information? Nobody can justifiably 'tell' on another without validly explaining how they came to know the information.
Everybody values their privacy, and virtually nobody likes the idea of being found out. Rest assured, if she sees a familiar face in a swing club, that person is bound to keep her business right there in the club, since that's the way they would want it too.
A simple plan for this contingency goes as follows:
You walk up to the familiar and say something to the effect of "I didn't see you if you didn't see me" or "Our little secret, right?"
I've never, in ten years of being in the lifestyle and fielding lifestyle advice, heard of any case of someone being outed from being spotted by a co-worker in a club. The only cases I've seen have come from someone spotting another's profile on a site and anonymously snitching. Even that is extremely rare.
Click here to view Lounge Advice archives
100's of answers to your lifestyle questions can be found here!