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Question: We have great sex, but he still masturbates a lot. Why?

Dear Lounge Advice,
Well my better half and I have been going together for four years now. I am very happy in love and plan to get married in the next year or so. We have great sex but at times I feel like he is not satisfied. The reason why I say this is because he masturbates alot. I understand he is a man and it is natural and normal, but it bothers me alot because we would have mindblowing sex and he would turn around and tell me he'll be right back and he would grab the lube and do the do by looking at porn sites or films. I was wondering what can be the cause of this, is he not into having sex with me, am I not pleasuring him the right way?

Please assist,



Dear (Anonymous),

If you're having great sex, then of course you're pleasuring him the right way. It sounds like he has a very high sex drive and probably masturbated to porn a lot even before you came along, so it's something he's just used to doing. If you have a great relationship, then it's apparent that you two can communicate well. This is exactly what you need to do in this case, especially if it is making you feel self-conscious. Just approach and ask him why he does it, and TELL him that it's making you feel less than confident about your own abilities. I shouldn't even have to tell you this. If something bothers you in a relationship, just talk to your partner. This should be a given in any partnership. Never allow anything to eat at you for this long without saying something to your significant other. If you're not communicated about your worries, then your relationship will suffer. I'm sure that a proper discourse will do wonders to ease your anxieties about this issue, and perhaps you can come to some sort of compromise on his activities. He should respect your feelings on this matter and even if he's not open to going cold-turkey on pleasuring himself, he can compromise not to do it when you're around, or at least not do it right after he's been with you if it's making you feel that you haven't done your job adequately.
One last note: I had a mate who had an extremely high sex drive. He didn't masturbate. Instead, he cheated on me. His masturbation addiction may seem like it's a big problem, and very well may be. However, you're a lucky lady if he's still being faithful to you despite his sexual appetite :)
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