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Question: My hubby does not want to submit photos to validate, which makes it very hard for us

Dear Lounge Advice,

I too have had the same experience with people being rude and arrogant. It hard because if you arent "real sealed" then some people dont want to even give you the time of day. Getting my husband to actually take a photo with the our photos and put on the site is near impossible! He is a professional and so am I, he worries that someone will see. I told him that you no one see that photo but the site managers. People are very clicky on this site and on all of the others I have visited. I have to admit though people on this site at least some of the time write back. I too am frustrated and ready to give up all together. Any ideas on how I can get people to be less stuffy towards us and respond? Thanks for your time.
Sincerely, Anonymous



Dear (Anonymous),

Unfortunately, most people will be hesitant to correspond with someone who isn't sealed. We are among them. You are right when you say that nobody will see your pics except for the site owners. If having your images exposed is an issue, you can post in the private albums and only allow access to those you wish.
Most of us ARE professionals on this site. I myself am involved in a career that would out me if they knew of my involvement with this. I've been extremely high-profile in this lifestyle for many years and feel comfortable posting my images.
The problem with breaking into this both without a validation (seal) or photos is that people can be very wary as to your identity. One, if you aren't sealed, people become paranoid thinking you are either a single male trying to pose as a couple, or perhaps even a family member of coworker trying to meddle and probe. I've had many bad experiences starting out. I've been duped by non-sealed profiles claiming to be a couple or single female, only to find out that a single male was trying to get 'in' using deception.
Even with the seal, many people still won't correspond extensively without seeing your pictures. After all, this lifestyle is based heavily on the initial attraction. Nobody wants to waste a lot of time conversing with a couple, only to find out upon meeting that the couples is not their type at all.
It's not so much a case of people being clicky as it is wariness. We're all protective of ourselves, our identities and our careers in this lifestyle. I found out the hard way not to communicate with non-sealed members, and sometimes had bad experiences meeting people who didn't show pictures. Most people here just don't want to learn the hard way like I did.
Hopefully, you anyone understand this. If your hubby is totally resistant to getting validated and putting photos up, perhaps using a website isn't for you. It would then be better for you two just to meet couple via attending parties and clubs.

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