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Question: I'm very uncomfortable with my wife's desire to go solo with other men

Dear Lounge Advice,
Is it dangerous to a relatioship to let your wife to go out on her own on a date? My wife and I are new to the lifestyle and are still trying to find our deal. Recently my wife asked if she could go on her own with some guy she meet. I let her go and she went wild. She had unprotected sex, let him take pictures of him and her, let him finish in her mouth, I don't get to do that rarely) did 69 (never let me do that but a few rare times) She slept there, walked around naked, sat outside naked smoking (she doesnt smoke) When I told her this is the hardest thing I've went through she begged me to let her go again, stupid me did, she got wilder.....I told her I can't handle it. She got mad, says its just sex, no different than when we swap... this is not like her at all. She can't understand why I have a problem with it. Makes me want to run from the lifestyle. How do I stop her with out hating me? By the way she does love me, we are closer than anyone we know.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

PUT THE BRAKES ON THIS!! If you're not comfortable with this, that should be enough. I you are as close as you claim, she should respect your wishes. Please don't give in and allow her to do this again. It's very obvious that this makes you extremely uncomfortable. That's a huge warning sign. If she's pushing for something that makes you so ill at ease, she's disrespecting you. Basically, she's saying that her carnal desires are more important than your bond to her. You need to put your foot down. So what if she hates you? If she cannot respect your wishes, and therefore despises you for that.....well.......not a good sign. Lack of respect for your loved ones' sincere wishes signals selfishness and disregard. I know you're in love, but this has obviously gone too far. If you have resorted to asking for advice, you are too distraught to allow this anymore.
Please have an earnest conversation with her. Hopefully, if she loves you as much as you think she does, she WILL curb her desires. If you allow her to continue this, you have resigned your dignity. That will be her ticket to walk all over you. Don't let that happen. Please..........don't.
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