Home   New Mail!  Contacts  Who's Online  Friends  Search  Advice  Forum  Blogs  Groups  Mall  Chat  My Account  Clubs  Travel  Login  
  43 members in chat114 in bOOty Call
Lifestyle Sexual Advice
Play Bi Play
New(bie) Adventures
more sexual advice advice
Lifestyle Etiquette
Honesty vs. Vague Truths
Calling All Unicorns
more etiquette advice
Relationship Advice
To Swing or Not to Swing...
Please Communicate Desires
more relationship advice
Friendships, Clubs & More...
Sending IMs
more friendship advice
Question: How can we tell our friend?

Dear Lounge Advice,

In our quest to find long term and safe playmates, my boyfriend and I have introduced a girlfriend of mine into the lifestyle. I myself was introduced to the lifestyle very young (18), and I have grown immensely in many ways because of it. Initially, I was intrigued by our encounter with my girlfriend because I saw a lot of myself in her (she is 18 this year and new to the lifestyle.) This being said, my boyfriend and I wanted to give her the mentorship that I received.
However, after several encounters, both of us feel that we are more therapists than mentors. I realise now that mentally and emotionally I was at a different state at her age--- I focused more on the physical pleasure and less on the emotional support. Our problem now is that she wants to be with us all the time, but not sexually.
Is there a way to convey to her that although we care about her friendship, our main focus is on finding playmates?



Dear (Anonymous),

You probably don't want to hear this, but this is one of those situations that is going to require flat out honesty. Don't beat around the bush. Tell her. Be kind, but be honest. Convey to her how much you really appreciate her friendship, but your goals are different. She's young, and thus is probably going to continue clinging until you say something. If you let this go on, resentment will build. If she cannot respect your wishes, she's not the type of friend you want anyways.
Click here to view Lounge Advice archives
100's of answers to your lifestyle questions can be found here!