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Question: I suspect infedelity and my hubby is traveling to a single female's city who he may be cheating with

Dear Lounge Advice, We have been in the lifestyle on and off for about 10 years. I have always suspected my husband of seeing others without my knowing, but he vehemently denies. So, I just go on. He is a very frequent poster to the forums here and we have met several couples/singles. My problem is he is going to be traveling regularly to a city where a certain single has openly posted, she wants to sleep with him.. This makes me VERY uncomfortable, as I know she will probably be in touch with him, as soon as he gets there. They have met on a previous trip. I don't know if I should make a snide post openly, or not.



Dear (Anonymous),

Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT make an open post with a snide remark. Although your feelings tell you that this may be an appropriate form of retaliation, it is not. While your feelings may be nagging you that this situation is probable, you can't say for certain that it will happen. If she does not have any intention of contating him for a rendezvous, all you are going to do is embarass yourself. The public forum is never a place to dump these issues or carry out vendattas such as this.
I do understand your problem though. I've been in a similar situation myself. While it is quite low down and dirty for her to do this to you, it is quite another thing for your own husband to do this to you. The problem we females sometimes have in this type of situation is taking out our hatred on the 'other woman'. It certainly is dastardly for her to attempt this. However, she isn't the one who pledged her loyalty, love and faithfulness to you. Think of the person who did make these promises to you. Your husband is the person who you should be focused on here. If you suspect infedility, you need to take action in your own relationship. This may entail anything from outright protest of him traveling there (even if it's necessary for business), to a proclamation of your distrust and an ultimatum on your part. Of course he'll deny. Even if he's cheating, he'll never come out and admit it.
You need to let him know that you ALLOW him to have sex with others, and if he chooses to have an affair anyways, that he's the lowest form of life.
Either way, do something. Don't post publicly. Tackle this within your relationship. And for god's sake, get out of the lifestyle. Please. If there isn't trust in your relationship, there is NO reason either one of you should be within a hundred miles radius of anything lifestyle related, including this site.
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