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Question: My hubby seems to never want sex with me!

Dear Lounge Advice,

My hubby and I used to be extremely sexual and very active in the lifestyle. Now, I am lucky if I get a glimpse from him once a month. We have discussed his lack of libidio but to no avail, nothing is happening. I can walk around naked, crawl on all fours, wear revealing and exotic lingerie, etc. He smiles and says I am sexy but yet, he does NOT WANT TO PLAY!! I am totally frustrated and not sure what to do!!!

Help please...I am very horny and too young to not want to enjoy sex!




Dear (Anonymous),

I can relate to this. I am in the same situation. I used to get so frustrated that no matter what I did, what I wore, or how seductive I tried to be, nothing would happen.
It made me self-conscious and doubt my sexual prowess. To be fair to my hubby, I'm going to try to relate the issues and possible solutions without going into too much detail about our personal life.
First, find out what his sex drive was life with past long-term partners. I found out that my hubby sometimes had girlfriends but never slept with them because of his low sex drive. Even without partners, he could go 6-8 months without even craving sex.
Then, discuss yet again with him what the problem might be. If he is saying that you're sexy, he most likely means it. My hubby is very sincere when he compliments me that way. However, our men finding us sexy does not go hand in hand with having the sex drive to act on it.
If you both find that you just can't put a finger on the root of the problem, it might be a medical issue. We found out that he has very low testosterone levels. While this didn't make him feel better about himself, it did allow me to gain a new perspective on how I see myself. It was a relief to know that it truly isn't me that is causing the minimal lack of physical fun.
My husband also gave me some tips that he thinks will help pick up our sex life. I, like you, would walk around naked or in sexy outfits and get frustrated because I didn't arouse him or catch any kind of sexual interest. He told me that when I am horny, I just need to be the aggressor. Sometimes I'll tell him ahead of time that I want sex, and he'll take a Viagra or Cialis. Now, our men may not have a problem getting a hard-on, but these wonderdrugs help to provide a stepping stone to a fun time in bed. Erection drugs may not provide the libido, but if your man is getting a hard-on from it, it's easier for us ladies to push for the rest.
Get your man to the doctor to get his hormones and testosterone levels checked. He will need to be very honest with the doctor about his problem, so that they know how to diagnose it. It would be best if you sat in with him in order to better explain what's going on.
If he loves you, he will be willing to swallow his pride and get seen by a professional.
I can completely empathize with your situation and I do hope he takes some steps in the right direction so you're not so miserable anymore.
Good luck!
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