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Question: Our sex life is almost nonexistent

Dear Lounge Advice, we are having a hard time lately. My wife has almost no sexual drive, and I am so lonely. We no longer particpate in LL type activities and when we do have sex I can no longer help her to climax. This is difficult for me and her. I feel lost, I have always been told that I was a good lover, but now I am a bit insecure. We love and care about each other and sometimes when she has been drinking she gets sexual, but usually by the time we get home she passes out. I do not know what happened. We use to have soo much fun, but now nothing. We had a baby 5 years ago and my wife says that because I felt so cautious about sex then that she lost something. I swear I am at my wits end. I love her and enjoy our family, but I need love too.
I miss the play we had before and wish so much that I could help her.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

First of all, it's good that you aren't participating in Lifestyle related play. Since your private sex life is failing, that takes priority before you can have sex with others. You situation is one that could desperately use the services of a sex therapist. The advice that you seek and the help that you need is out of my realm. I sincerely hope that you can both talk about the possibility of seeking professional help in this matter. It's not just a matter of your sex life. If things continue down the same road, your misery is going to lead to a deeper rift in the relationship. Trust me, it happened to me in my previous marriage. Things can only escalate and become worse if you two don't seek help. You may come to find out that it could be a mere hormonal issue with her, which can easily be treated.
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