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Question: I love him but he's stil not over his ex

Dear Lounge Advice,

I've been seeing my guy for 1 year now. He says I was so easy to fall-in-love with, and very easy to get along with and says he loves me all of the time. I found out a few months back, (I suspected this earlier in the relationship) I have been the other woman. I did get the chance to meet her.
She let her self in his house one morning about 4 weeks ago,without warning. They have both been cheating on each other and it is safe to say, their relationship is over. He never has anything nice to say about her and she him. Yes her and I talk and she has found someone. It's been 3 weeks since he's heard from her and is depressed as hell. When he drinks too much, he starts to cry and says, "Why have all the women in my life FKed me other? This doesn't include you sweetie. You've been nothing but nice to me." Blah, Blah, Blah...I've heard this many times. Man do I have patience!
Last weekend he was drinking and was totally wasted, he turned to me and said that if his past love called him and needed him RIGHT NOW, he would drop me in a heart beat. O-U-C-H! He doesn't think highly about himself and won't talk. I want to be there as a great friend to help him through this rough time in his life. I'm so in-love with him. He is very good to me. We have never had a fight/arguement EVER! He has a pleasing personality and somehow he draws women in like a magnet... Heck, he draws everyone in for that matter. The guy has BRAINS and carries in depth conversations with everyone... Should I break it off with him?
I know he loves me and it may work one day.
A fool in-love! Annie



Dear (Anonymous),

Your status in that relationship needs to be downgraded for now. He's still tangled in a web of emotion about this ex-girlfriend and if you continue to consider yourself his girlfriend, you'll get tangled up too. I'm afraid you already may be a bit ensnared.
If he's saying that he'll drop you in a heartbeat, he obviously still broods over this woman. It's not fair to you if he calls you his girlfriend while he still frets over her. For your sanity and his, just be his friend right now. If it is truly meant to be, this change in relationship status will not matter in the long run. 'Meant to be' means that it will work out for you both eventually. Right now, though, be a friend and give him space and time to get over her. You'll be doing good for yourself too.
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