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Lifestyle Sexual Advice
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Lifestyle Etiquette
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Question: How should I get my vanilla man into this?

Dear Lounge Advice,

I've been on very fun vanilla dates for the past month with this one person. He's very sexual and likes variety and fun in bed, and I'm beginning to like him more and more as a person. So, I had been wondering if I could get him to be interested in the lifestyle. The other night, we were walking by Le Trapeze, and he pointed it out, knowing that it's a swing club. So, taking that opportunity, I broke the news that I'm dipping my toes in the lifestyle. He's very curious and wants to hear more about it, and certainly is not judgmental. But I can't get a sense whether he's being voyeuristic or he might want to participate.

So my question is... any tip in successfully breaking in a vanilla man into the lifestyle??



Dear (Anonymous),

I'll bet my next paycheck that it will be extremely easy for you to do that. Based on the sheer number of men that write to me asking how they can get their women into the lifestyle, I think your man will not have to be asked twice.
You already let the cat out of the bag that you're into this, so the hard part is over. Ask him if he would like to go to the club sometime. When you get there, you'll certainly be able to tell if he's voyeuristic. Just take him to some of the 'viewing rooms' and watch his reaction. All you have to do from there is ask him the question that are on your mind. You'll be able to feel him out easily.
Men are the easy lifestyle converts. It's the vanilla women who are the tough cases. You're in a great position, so go for it!
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