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Question: I'm not comfortable with him playing with single females alone

Dear Lounge Advice,

I am in a Long distance relationship of year and half. We joined the life style about 6 months ago. Neither one had ever had this type of relationship before. My boyfriend introduced me to playing alone at first cause he liked for me to said it excited him. Well we had our first expericence together 2 month ago. It was with another male and we had a good time. But now that I have gone back home he has had 2 experiences one was with a couple and another with a single female. I was fine with the couple but when it happened with the single female it wasn't so great of a feeling.

I dont want to stay in the lifestlye anymore until we can finally be together all together or while we are visiting one another. Mainly I'll be honest. I dont want him to play with single females. Couples are fine.
IS this wrong to be ok with one and not the other?

Also I asked him what he would say if i told him i didnt want us to be in the lifestyle anymore unless we are together. He basically laughed and said yeah right. But I have not said anything about couples being ok and single females not ok.
I dont know how I can get him to listen to me when I am trying to tell him how I feel about this. He does not want to hear it. How am I suppose to deal with him maybe playing with others when i dont want him to, and he says oh well he likes it. I love this man and I dont want this to hurt our relationship anymore.
He has changed so much since he has played alone as well but yet so have ause I am worried he might leave me since I am 2000 miles away and someone else is right around the corner and can give him more then I can at this moment.

What am I suppose to do and how do I deal with him acting the way he is?

Also he doesn't call me as much or tell me what he is doing after he says he will call or etc..
He leaves me hanging. But yet he says he loves me and he will not leave me no matter what and he is not looking for a replacement

Can u please help me?




Dear (Anonymous),

You need to be firm with him about. If you aren't comfortable with something, you need to voice it with conviction. However, if you do not want him to be with single females, you should be willing to stay away from single males as well (if you aren't already)
Long distance relationships are hard enough without throwing the lifestyle into the mix.
He has a choice- he can respect your wishes or he can lose you. By his response, you'll be able to find out what's more important to him- playing with others or your love. If he is adament about continuing to play despite your wishes otherwise, that's a telling sign.
No matter what- speak up!! If he doesn't listen you may be with the wrong man!!
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