Home   New Mail!  Contacts  Who's Online  Friends  Search  Advice  Forum  Blogs  Groups  Mall  Chat  My Account  Clubs  Travel  Login  
  50 members in chat32 in bOOty Call
 
Lifestyle Sexual Advice
Unicorn Training
The Bi’s the limit ;)
more sexual advice advice
Lifestyle Etiquette
Oral Sex Condoms
Condom Etiquette
more etiquette advice
Relationship Advice
Going off the Reservation
SM looking for partner
more relationship advice
Friendships, Clubs & More...
Profiles
Looking to get a Real Seal
more friendship advice
  
Question: Should we fix our own lovelife first before swinging?

Dear Lounge Advice,My Partner and I were both in the lifestyle prior to meeting 3 years ago. We decided it would be good for us to get to know each other before returning to the lifestyle. About a year after meeting, I discovered (not just once, but twice over a period of six months)that he ws on this site and another website for swingers. It took me by surprise, and bothered me quite a bit. He told me he was checking the site to see what the woman are like (that I would be interested in),etc. Eventually, I decided I'd rather he do it in the open, than behind my back, and we created a couple's profile. Soon after, our sex life became almost nonexistent. He has been under a lot of stress from various avenues (work, ex wife, etc.), and it has greatly affected his libido. However, he still monitors this site (the women), continues to add friends, to the friend list, invites friends, joins the various groups, etc. This hurts me a great deal, and has left me feeling confused, jealous and angry. The last thing in the world I want to do is even consider looking at other people let alone being with them. I believe we need to fix our relationship, before looking and/or pursuing elsewhere. I've told him how I feel, he tells me I turn him on, he's attracted to me, etc....but I want more action, and less talk.. Help!

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

You should take an extended break from the lifestyle until you can get your own sexual relations back on track. If your relaionship, any part of it, is in disrepair, it takes priority before this.
Of course, I'm only speaking of halting any sexual activities outside of your relationship. It's perfectly okay to stay on the website and make new friends that you can have regular fun with. Perhaps that is what he is aiming for.
We're in this situation. We still make friends with others and initiate contact with new people. However, we're building our own love life without playing outside of it. So naturally, we'll still continue to play on the website and make friends. We just won't take it any farther than that :)
Click here to view Lounge Advice archives
100's of answers to your lifestyle questions can be found here!