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Lifestyle Sexual Advice
We have tried Bi sites and have not had any luck.
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Lifestyle Etiquette
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Relationship Advice
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Friendships, Clubs & More...
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Question: Which way do I go next?

Dear Lounge Advice,
I have been married for two years and I am really exited about the idea of swinging. My wife and I have brushed the issue and I think that she would really get into it if she would give it a chance. We have almost had a three way with one of my friends (male) but I am leery to go that way just in case she does not want to return the favor. How do I bridge the gap and get her to go for a foursome that could have something for both of us. PS I would be ok with that threesome with my friend if I knew that it would come back around. Also, how do I sort out the feelings they might have for each other. I trust them both very much but I need to look out for my own interests first. Which way do I go next?



Dear (Anonymous),

If there might be feelings present, don't go there. Period.

Also, if you're trying to get her into this with the condition that you get something in return, that's a poor philosophy. "Owesies" in the lifestyle is poor ettiquete.
It truly sounds as if you're angling merely for something for yourself by getting her to do something.
AKA- Have her participate in a lifestyle experience with the expectation that she must return the favor.
Offer her the experience without any conditions or expectation of having the favor returned. That way, she'll be more inclined to believe you are doing this for altruistic reasons, and not because you have a hidden agenda.
If she feels that you have a hidden agenda, she won't be inclined to do anything, and your lifestyle aspirations will go down the drain. By all means, mention to her that you'd love to have an experience too, but it's not mandatory. If she ever wanted to give back, you'd be happy with that.
You said it all when you stated that you need to look out for your own interests first.
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