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Question: Are there people who can't handle this lifestyle?

Dear Lounge Advice,
Another newbie question! Just about everything you read says how great the lifestyle is, but do you ever hear from those that just can't handle the feelings and emotions that come from the experiences. Just want to make sure we don't run into the same problems.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

I hear that plenty of times! Only you can ascertain whether you're able to handle this, and communication is the prime determination of this.
The lifestyle is no place for issues. The only type of issues allowed here are the Freudian types. Issues indicate a weak fire, and the aforementioned analogy alludes to the role of swinging to your relationship. The purpose of this lifestyle is to enhance an already fantastic bond. Naturally, there will always be a twinge of jealousy or insecurity. This comes with the territory of loving your mate, and is actually quite healthy. However, excessive jealousy or insecurity are best left outside of the swinging lifestyle. Yes, it takes a lot of trust, love, and acceptance to be involved in our lifestyle. That is why it is best to communicate with your partner thoroughly about your rules and comfort levels before you even entertain the possibility of swinging. If your wife is going to feel threatened by a woman she perceives as prettier than her, you have to work on making her feel secure before you swing. If your husband is going to get jealous if another man comes near you, this issue will make it near impossible to have a friendly swinging experience.
This is the time to look inside the dynamics of your relationship with your mate and determine: Do we have the essential elements needed to make an open relationship viable? This is not a time to rationalize weaknesses by saying that they arenít important; that they will hold up to any challenges swinging will offer. This is a time to be brutally honest and determine, above all is, if your relationship will be sturdy enough to handle any encumbrance that is presented when you and your partner partake in sexual relations with others. You would be demeaning the value of your bond with your significant other if you were to venture into this lifestyle with the goal of sleeping with others above the fate of your relationship. If this is the case, you will quickly find that your misplaced priorities will eclipse the strength of your bond, therefore placing your entire foundation in peril. Place yourselves in certain situations and try to answer hypothetical questions. If you are the woman, how will you feel if your mate hits on another woman at a lifestyle event? If you are the man, how would you react if another man was getting friendly with your wife, with the intention of enjoying sexual relations? How do you think either one of you would respond if an extremely appealing individual invited one of you out alone without the otherís knowledge? Would temptation be too hard to handle, or would your significant other have the strength to say no and inform you of the occurrence? Would you be able to handle seeing your partner engage in mind-blowing sex with another? Or, are you only considering the lifestyle because you no longer feel an attraction to your partner, and are seeking a way to satiate your sexual needs since you are not achieving this at home? Are you doing this because your partner wants sex a lot more often than you, and this is your answer for allowing them to vent some of those sexual urges while you sleep with someone just so he or she can do so?
Talk it over. That's the best way!
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