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Question: New and wondering how to interact

Dear Lounge Advice,

We are new to this site and wanted to know how to get things going. We are interested in just another female to interact with.

Any suggestions on how to make our profile more appealing for that type of encounter?

Any help would be apppreciated.

Joy Rhoads



Dear (Anonymous),

Setting up an attractive comprehensive profile is the first key to your success. Donít know where to start or what to include? Well, youíve come to the right place for help.
Initially, you will need to focus on posting quality photos. If you are a couple, you will need to include photos of each partner. Too often, a coupleís profile is jam-packed with tantalizing photos of the female, but nothing of the male. Remember, the ladies want a sneak peak at what the male has to offer as well. The quintessential couplesí profile has individual photos of both partners, and at least one photo of them together.

Posting a couple photo serves more than one purpose. When other members view your album, they know that you are a real couple, and not a single male posting photos of a cyberspace model in his profile under the guise of a couple, thus attempting to lure unsuspecting members into contacting him. Displaying photos of you together also serves to enhance your sense of Ďtogethernessí in othersí eyes.

Another consideration when adorning your online ad with photos is the degree of naughtiness. Although this can be a subjective matter, the most success seems to come from profiles that handle their photo posting with a touch of class. Many websites have two to three different albums for their profiles. Oftentimes, you will find that there is a public album which is open for the entire membership to view, with no limitations. If you donít savor the prospect of displaying yourselves in all of your naked glory for everyone to see, you can utilize this album for exhibiting clothed photos. Keep in mind that the first photo you post will serve as the defining image of your whole profile. The primary photo will be the one to show up when members are doing profile searches and checking to see who is online. It is also the icon that will show up when chatting and using public forums. Probably the most important role of the primary image is the one it serves in correspondence. When you contact others, it is the very first image they will see in their mailbox before opening up your letter. First impressions are lasting. So, ask yourself, ďDo we want to post a close-up photo of our naughty bits for our primary photo and have everyone who encounters our profile to remember us as Ďthat crotch coupleí?Ē Some of the best websites do not even allow nudity in the primary photos. Besides, if you are meeting someone who only has their privates on display, how are you supposed to recognize them? You canít very well walk up to every woman in the club and lift their skirts in the effort to recognize their privates. Or better yet, have you ever heard anyone exclaim, ďHey, thatís Bob! Iíd recognize that penis anywhere.Ē? Didnít think so.

If you choose to make your profile concise and nondescript, you offer little to your prospects. A poorly written profile looks like this:

We are a fun-loving couple seeking sexy fun-loving partners for fun in and out of the bedroom. Must be fit, drug and disease free and share similar interests.

Naturally, we all have something specific in mind when choosing our mates. So, why not be specific when composing your text? Think of the type of profile you would respond to, and base your own on this. Generic text, such as the example illustrated above, will only serve to attract anyone and everyone to your profile, especially those you didnít want to attract in the first place. However, if it is your preference to release your information upon further interaction, that's fine.
There should be something of substance in your profile, though, and not just one-liners. Give people a general feeling as to who you are, what you want and donít want, your play preferences, and your boundaries. Anything beyond that is up to you to indulge. The more specific the profile is, the more likely you are going to find exactly what you seek. Donít be a profile pooper! Another important quality in a profile is grammar and spelling. See, and you thought high school English was a waste of your time! Now is your chance to use it and impress your readers. If you are going to take the time to compose a quality profile, your conventions play a key role. Make sure you do not type in all caps, since computer etiquette defines this is shouting.
Some people choose not so much to tell all about their sexual and personal preferences, which is fine. Instead, you will find profiles that simply mirror the personalities behind the keyboard.
Even though you have put much time and effort into attracting people to your profile, this is no time to just sit back and expect them to come to you. There are members on the site who do nothing but wait for others to contact the, which sometimes isnít very fruitful. Two negatives donít make a positive in this case. Be proactive and initiate contact yourself!
It matters not whether the male or the female makes does the contacting. If you are a couple, you can both sit down and have a say in the e-mails you send out. Usually, it is recommended that the more outgoing of the couple initiates the contact, since the enthusiasm will show through in the letters. If one half of the couple is doing the contacting, they should first make sure that their other half approves of those with whom they are initiating dialogue. Swinging is an endeavor which requires both partners to play an active role in the decision-making and choice of playmates. If one of you is choosing the playmates for you both without consulting the other first, something is awry. Both of you have veto power, so once one of you decides to veto a choice, that must be respected, no matter how attractive one of you finds a couple to be.

Before beginning your contact campaign, consider getting validated. This is a feature that any quality website will have in place to verify that the people in the pictures are indeed a real couple or single.
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