Home   New Mail!  Contacts  Who's Online  Friends  Search  Advice  Forum  Blogs  Groups  Mall  Chat  My Account  Clubs  Travel  Login  
  56 members in chat17 in bOOty Call
 
Lifestyle Sexual Advice
Viagra use
Maintaining Erections during playtime
more sexual advice advice
Lifestyle Etiquette
All in...or pause button
NO CONDOM!!!!
more etiquette advice
Relationship Advice
Lack of Communication - Problematic
Being on the same page
more relationship advice
Friendships, Clubs & More...
Password Protected Photos
Vanilla Club
more friendship advice
  
Question: How do we tell them we no longer wish to play?

Dear Lounge Advice, We are a new couple to this lifestyle. I (female) have been involved with a LL couple prior to becoming a couple myself. My mate is not attracted to the couple and I am no longer interested in both of them. I enjoy playing with her in social settings, but nothing serious any longer. I have been friends with them for 4 years and active with them, off and on, for the last 2. They have helped us a great deal with getting comfortable and understanding, but I know it would crush them to be told directly, that he just doesn't want her. Please help, I greatly value their friendship, but I must respect his feelings on this. I have tried to explain that he is just not ready for the full swap and suggested the voyer approach. From their responses, I do not believe this would work. I need help in the polite tactful way to explain this. Thank you.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

I think that in this situation, you should consider talking to the man alone. Explain the situation to him and make it clear that you're talking to him alone out of respect for his wife. Let him know that your partner is not interested in her, and that you don't want to hurt her feelings. She doesn't have to know the real reason.
Perhaps her husband can then dissuade her from further pursuit in his own way. He can even tell her that he's not interested in you anymore.
I'm not an advocate for deceit, but I do believe that in this case, a little white lie can do more good than harm. We all have feelings, and sometimes the truth can be too damaging.
However, if you feel that this approach would not work, then your only option is to lay it on the line, gently.
Yes, she will be hurt. But, if they are your friends, they will continue to be your friends, regardless.
Click here to view Lounge Advice archives
100's of answers to your lifestyle questions can be found here!