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Question: My wife completely crossed our boudaries.

Dear Lounge Advice,

We have been involved in the lifestyle for about two years now and have several good experiences. We have only been involved in soft play as that is what we had set our boundries to be. I had felt I want to keep the actual sex for us only. Recently we had some friends over and it was getting late. I had headed up to bed as I had to work very early the next morning. We had had a few experiences with on of the single males that was at our house. He and my wife then came up and wanted to play, I politely said NO Thanks. That's when things got hairy, much to my shock they went dowstairs and began to have sex with eachother. I had always trusted my wife to keep our boundries and honor my feelings. I feel completely cheated on and crushed. I have to say we had always said soft was the most we wanted now this. What went wrong and was this my fault? How do you try to save a marriage with a alternative lifestyle gone bad. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks,

Jeff

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

This was not your fault. If you had specific boundaries set, and she crossed them, it's entirely HER fault.
Time to remove yourselves from the lifestyle. She can't stick to the rules and it's hurting your relationship, which is the most important thing. Back out of this completely and mend your relationship. The lifestyle will always be around if you feel you can trust her again someday.
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