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Question: She's carrying on with men behing my back.

Dear Lounge Advice,
My wife and I have been married for 18 years. We have been swingers for about 10 yrs. We have always had a very open trusting relationship. We have participated in all kinds of swing from 3somes, 4somes, GBs, Orgies, and lots of fantasy role plays most all have been focused on her once or twice its on me. We have always been open with each other until about 6 months ago then its like some thing snapped in her all of the sudden she started calling and texting guys in secret she has not met with any, they mostly live out of area, it is all on the phone or computer, she then carried it to hiding her phone and now she even went as far as getting a second cell phone so I wouldnt know (I found this out on credit report). I have said I am uncomfortable with this. if she wants to text them or talk to them that is ok but she needs to tell me and have conversation while im there and let me see text if I ask. she says she should be able to have her own space and conversations with these single guys if she wants. I feel if she has private conversations with guys and lies and hides it from me it is the same as an affair. Tell me am I wrong.

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

You're RIGHT! That's downright ridiculous! We are in this lifestyle to be open and honest. How many couples enjoy this kind of freedom? Not many. So there is absolutely NO excuse for this. She can't have her cake and eat it too. If she wants this kind of freedom, she doesn't need to be in a relationship. You've given her an inch........well, you know the rest.
It is time to put your foot down and HARD! She can either continue to enjoy an open relationship with no hidden agendas, or she can go it on her own.
Darlin', it's ultimatum time. She is completely out of line and you're in the right to do something about it.
Good luck!
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