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Question: Best way to meet a single male for a MFM

Dear Lounge Advice,

What is the best way to meet single men for a MFM (we are a couple)? Is it best to have the males interact first? Is it best for the female to start with those that look most promising and then the couple-male can okay everything?

We want to make sure we meet a single male who is respectful, friendly to both of us, and attractive to her. Since we're new, we would like to make sure we get off on the right foot!




Dear (Anonymous),

Let her take the wheel on this one. Just be sure that she has extensive communication with him first. It's essential that she builds up a level of comfort with him. There are a great deal of single males in this lifestyle, and it takes a while to find a gem. It's well worth the process. Most single males are willing to invest the time getting to know a couple before anything happens. If he isn't willing to be patient, then he's not worth it. My husband was a single male when I met him, and I took my time getting to know him via e-mail, forum and phone interaction, plus a few initial meetings. She definitely has the upper hand here and the pick of the litter. Let her choose, then you can make the ulimate decision. My husband has a great saying that applies to swinging. In order for someone to be with his wife, he can like the girl, but he has to love the guy. (In a completely hetero sense of course :) You should also get to know him, so that you can gauge how respectful he will be with your wife.
So, let her pick someone, but the final word should come from you. If you get a bad feeling from him, don't go through with it. But if you truly trust her judgement, then it should all work out!
Good luck with your experience. It will be great!
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