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Question: Should we do a threesome w/her behind her fiancee's back?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My hubby and I have a dilemma involving a good friend of mine. This girlfriend and I have played before and were even planning on having a 3some with my hubby. But then she suddenly got a boyfriend. This boyfriend turned out to be extremely conservative and doesn't allow her the sexual freedom that she wants. We still remained good friends, but only vanilla friends. Now they are engaged. Recently she's been complaining about her fiance and their sex life. And she's been asking me alot of questions about the lifestyle and what we do. She has become more and more interested and now she says that she really wants to have a 3some with my husband and me. She says that it's better for her to try it now before she gets married. And she wants to keep it a secret from her fiance. We don't really know what to do, because we know it would be wrong for her to cheat on her fiance. BUT, we also feel that it would be better for her to explore her sexual fantasies now, before she seals the deal with this guy. And, we also don't want her to go and find another couple instead. She is a pretty strong-willed person and we're not sure what she's capable of doing.

What should we do or tell her??



Dear (Anonymous),

I wouldn't go there. Albeit very tempting to have a 'single' female join you, this is not the way. For one, you'd be party to her betrayal, which would always weigh on your mind. More important though is the possibility of this being revealed down the road.
Speaking from experience here, I can tell you that these things don't always remain a secret. A previous partner and I brought home a married man who later broke down and told his wife during a tumultuous time in their marriage. Needless to say, she freaked out and we were on the receiving end of the wrath. Granted, her partner may not know who you are, but she may come back to you and have a mental breakdown about her betrayal, which will place you in quite the awkward position.
Nobody can tell you for sure that this woman won't have a breakdown of conscience and tell her husband about what she did behind his back before they were married.
I've seen this happen more times than I can remember and have also done it myself, even though I vowed to keep the secret to my grave.

Please weigh the consequences of your actions. It's great to have that elusive second woman in your bed, but do you really want to deal with everything that could go with it afterwards. You're adults, so I trust you will make a fitting decision for yourselves.
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