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Question: Afraid of being recognized at a lifestyle event

Dear Lounge Advice,
My wife is worried about one thing.
She is affraid that somehow this would affect our home life with our child.
What would be the best way to talk with her about that?
We are both professionals in health care and she is affraid of being seen by somebody we know if we go to an event in our home town. Would going to a resort be a good first option?
One last thing. My wife knows that I am open to the possibilties. She has made comments about certain good looking couples and says to me they would fun. She says it with some conviction, but I can't read her. What do you think?



Dear (Anonymous),

She's obviously wanting to try this out if she keeps throwing out comments like that. Ask her what she wants to do, then tell her that you're willing to try it out with her. She's looking for you to commit yourself to the idea of swinging, so step up to the bat and give her the confirmation she seeks. No more beating around the bush. It's too cryptic.
As for her worries, that's normal. If it's a genuine concern, keep your activities away from your immediate hometown. Find a place that you can travel to that will give you more peace of mind.
I'm a teacher, so I understand her fears. As for being spotted at a lifestyle friendly event though, just remember this: If a familiar is at that event and spots you- THEY are there too! They're probably just as worried about being revealed as you are.
If it's clients you're worried about, the same applies. I've run into familiars at events. All I like to do to break that feeling of "EEK!" is to walk up to them and say in a flirty way "I won't tell if you don't" :)
I do agree that you should try something outside as your first option, like a resort, as you mentioned. After a while, your comfort levels may expand and you can play it by ear from there.
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