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Question: How should I get used to being in the LS as a couple now?

Dear Lounge Advice,
My boyfriend has been part of the lifestyle for some years now, and I have been aware of it and occassionally a participant for about a yr now. I enjoy being part of the lifestyle. However,I am having difficulty changing my mindset from a single female to a couple. For each of us to go and play alone doesn't bother me at all. we each had people we played with before we started dating and are Ok with continuing to play with them every once in a while when the opportuntity presents itself. It seems very foreign to me to play as a couple, knowing he is seeing me with someone other than him. I see questions from couples asking for advice about transitioning to alone play, I guess mine is the opposite- looking for insight on changing from only alone play to couple play.



Dear (Anonymous),

Perhaps you should both transition slowly back into the lifestyle together. Don't go full-swap right away until you've reached a comfort zone as a couple. You could start out with some same room play with others, then as time goes one, graduate to full swap. This way, you're not jumping into the deep end right off the back, thus shocking your system. You need time for this to grow on you, and it will happen- just not right away. Be patient with yourself. Anyone in a new situation is bound to feel awkward and needs time to acclimate.
If you both still wish to play alone, and are both comforable with this arrangement, you can still continue to do so.
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