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Question: Booty Call incompletions

Dear Lounge Advice,

We are fairly new. We as a couple chose this Lifestyle to enjoy having sexual experiences with other couples first and foremost. When we answer "BOOTY CALLS" we have an expectation to have sex with that couple at the first meeting whether we end up being friends with them or not. We've encountered several Booty Calls that have given us just that, our expectations have been met. Just recently, we answered a Booty Call and met three couples who had no intentions of having sex, only to meet and hang out but they never communicated this. They led us on throughout the entire evening. We made our expectations very clear in our email correspondence prior to our meeting them and in our profile. I was very patient with these people and gave them a chance but felt they wasted our money and time. They all retired early and we actually had a much better time after they left our space. We met up with a great couple the next day, had two great dates and sex and we are seeing them again so it worked out well for the weekend. This type of none communication with people really frustrates us as newbies. We try to be as open, honest and upfront as possible, yet we still get people who play games. We were told by one of the couples that they had already made plans with the other couple to hook up prior to us meeting them, so we weren't even considered so why couldn't they have been honest and stopped with their games.

I wish there was a way one could file a complaint so others can beware of these tactics because there are alot of genuine people out there.



Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Sometimes people post an ad in Booty Call just to hang out for the evening. Booty call isn't reserved solely for sexual hookups. People also use it to make last minute plans to hang out somewhere, and this won't always include sex. Also, even if someone is in Booty Call looking for sex, there is still the possibility that upon meeting, they just don't feel the vibe with you. People always have the option to change their minds after meeting. You should never assume that something is gauranteed.
You state that you made your intentions clear to these people that you went out to meet, but I'm unsure as to whether they also confirmed their desire for a hookup that night? If they had not confirmed that they wanted to go out solely to meet for sex, then you should not have assumed anything. Unless someone expressly states to you that they are meeting you to have sex, don't set your expectations in stone.
Make concrete confirmations first.
If this is indeed what you did, then I'm sorry it turned out this way. Unfortunately, there will be experiences like this, and you will find this out the hard way, probably more than just this time. There is no way to report people that do this, nor do I believe there should be since everyone has the right to make their own decisions about who they hook up with, especially since impressions may change upon meeting.
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