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Question: Should we warn others about our experiences?
Dear Lounge Advice,
We are a couple that has been in the lifestyle for about 3 years. We've meet some great couples who we've connected and some not so great couples that are not honest about what they look for in the lifestyle. Is it wrong to warn new couples that you meet about such couples? We have seen over and over that these types of couples prey on couples that are new and unexperienced only to find out that what was written on the wall was not all so true. Some examples are.. We know a couple that say that they are full swap and we find out that the female is hardly involved in the lifestyle at all. The female is interested in finding females for the male half of their relationship but will rarely play as a couple. Is it our place to warn new couples that we know about these types of actions or should we let them find out for themselves? We all know that often things in the lifestyle are not what they seem...
I believe that as long as it's presented in a straightforward fashion, and that you stress that these are things that YOU have noticed, it's okay. Encourage the people you are speaking with that they should continue to pursue fun with the couple in question if they wish because they may have a different perspective on the situation.
Also, I wouldn't offer any 'heads up' unless it is soilicited, or unless they expressly say that they have certain intentions to pursue a couple that you feel is being deceptive about who they are.
Just bringing it up all by yourselves and telling someone about people randomly would be classified as gossip. (Not that you had the intention of doing this)
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