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Question: They never offer to pay for the drinks- what to do?
Dear Lounge Advice,
We have been friends with a couple for over a year that we see on a fairly regular basis. When we go out, we usually go to dinner and then dancing, (it is not always a play date). The dinner bill is usually split equally. When we get to the club we buy the first round of drinks and leave the tip for the bar tender. When we are ready for another drink we usually end up paying for these also. Not once has this couple offered to buy drinks for us or to even leave the tip for the bar tender. In some cases, the male half of the couple will disappear for a short period and come back with a drink for himself. He does not bother to ask any of us (icluding his wife) if we would like a drink. We usually end up buying her another drink as well as ourselves. I have told my husband to stop offering to buy that first round. Buy ours and leave it up to them to order and pay for their own. He feels that this is rude and does not want to hurt their feelings. However, everytime we go out with this couple, he complains all the way home about how they did not offer to buy or even ask us if we would like another drink. It has gotten to the point that we are starting to avoid going out with this couple unless it is with a large group. Is there anyway to let this couple know that they are slowly ruining our friedship without hurting their feelings. Should we do as I have suggested and stop offering that first round?
I think that you should do exactly as you are suggesting. That's what popped into my head even before I read your solution to the problem. No friends should be mooching off of you, so they can buy their own drinks!
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