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Question: Will my husband allow a man to be part of our play eventually?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My Husband and I both fantasize about bringing another woman into the bedroom. He worries that I will want another man as well which is true but he does not think he can handle. I wonder what kind of "pandora's box" one opens when starting with a threesome? We are happily married for ten years and I look forward to the rest of my life with this man. What are the stats for continued happy marriges based on trust. Do most men eventually come around to allowing a full couples swap?

Thank you

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

If there is trust, there is usually a happy marriage. I don't think your situation is an issue of trust so much as one of insecurity. You will both have to come to a compromise on this. If you think that having another man eventually to join you would be nice, then you're open to taking the threesome into the MMF realm, or couple swapping.
You need to let him know that you are indeed interested in further possibilites other than FFM. If this was my situation, I'd tell him that I'm still open to inviting another female into bed, but if it is to become a regular occurance, then it's only fair for him to consider allowing you the same pleasure. The best thing for you to do in order to set up secure relations in the lifesytle with your hubby is to communicate with him and continually reassure him that he is your #1.
Your situation is different than what I am usually approached with. Normally, it is the man wondering if his wife will eventually open up to broader horizons.
Just take it slow with this and let him ease into the lifestyle and get accustomed to it. He will probably come to see that it's not a threat as long as you're in a secure loving relationship in which the communication lines are constantly open.
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