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Question: As a female, how do I deal with feelings of jealously?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My partner and I are fairly new to the lifestyle and all of our experiences with playing with other couples have been good ones. However, being the female half here, I find myself initially feeling anxiety (maybe jealously) when I find my partner interested in a couple where the female is attractive. Is it natural for a female to initially feel this way? Have you ever felt this way when meeting couples with really attractive females? Playing for us has been very successful and we have always followed the rules we set for eachother. Our relationship is very strong and I'm not worried about loosing my partner or anything but I just find myself wondering if what I initially feel when I see a beautiful woman is normal. Do you think men ever feel this way when they see a couple with a good looking man? What do you think??



Dear (Anonymous),

First of all, this is VERY NORMAL, especially if you are relatively new. It takes a while until you get it. Just like everything else.. there are butterflies in the beginning.

After a while you will become for comfortable understanding that you guys are not in this to replace each other, and in fact this is somethig you are doing together as a couple.

As far as how men feel, trust me- it's just as bad for men. Remember they are the ones who need to perform. There is just as much, if not more anxiety for the men.

All these fears and anxieties melt away when one day you just get it- it just sinks in that this is all about fun !!

Lastly.. at the risk of sounding crude and snooty... in the big picture... we view what we are doing as just using other people to get more excited about being with each other... if the person is very attractive... its just more exciting for us as well...

Keep in touch and let us know how it goes !
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