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Question: Breaking boundaries- should I stress this to my wife?

Dear Lounge Advice,My wife and i are very happily maried for 3 years and together for 4. We are about a year into the lifestyle with great experiences and friendships.I (male half) am usually the one that sparks up conversations of bounderies, We recently-about 5 months ago started meeting single males for MFM fun. and we both have enjoyed it very much i'm straight and my wife is bi.
Anyways my question. sometimes the bounderies that i need not be broken sometimes are broken by my wife and i won't say or do anything during the session because i understand sometimes the moment gets the best of yow. Know later when we are alone and all is over i ask about the bounderie that was not respected she sometimes makes excuses like i could not stop him in the middle of that, or what am i supposed to do just stop.,stuff like that. IN my mind both answers would have been YES.
i'm confused, am i stressing this to much?,



Dear (Anonymous),

Your answers should have been yes to both counts. If these are your agreed upon boundaries, then there is no such thing as stressing them too much, especially when they're being broken. May I suggest that after you have a very frank discussion with her and when or if you venture back into play, you do the following. State your boundaries to the man before play starts. That way, she can't say that he tried something and she didn't feel that she could do anything about it. Perhaps this will take the pressure off of her to impose the boundaries during play. If the buindaries still get broken, you'll see exactly which party is knowingly and willingly breaking them, and no excuses will be applicable.
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