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Question: How do I let her know that I need reassurance?

Dear Lounge Advice,

My wife wants our first to be with another man. For years I have been fine with the thought, but I didn’t think my wife would “court” the third person. Honestly this really gets to me. When I explained that it was bugging me, her reply was she has to.

I also get the feeling that the great sex we are having is because she is turned on by this new man she has been chatting with. They also met at a park to make sure there was a connection. Now she is obsessed with this guy and talks about it. But if I show signs of jealousy she gets pretty pissed.

I really wanted her to stock my ego and give me some reassurance and instead I get, “come on don’t do this”.

I do want to see her fully satisfied, but why the love connection first? I understand the man/women difference, but any advice as to how I can get her to acknowledge I need some “this is going to be fun, but you are still #1?

Is it me?


Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

You just need to tell her straight out. She does need to be doing that, and if she was in this situation, she'd be feeling the same way. In fact, women tend to react even more to this kind of 'neglect' of reassurance. Be direct with her and let her know exactly what you told me. Your realtionship comes first, and if you're feeling the effects of this already, that needs to mended above all else.
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