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Question: Single female unsure of how to deal with couples sometimes

Dear Lounge Advice,

I'm a single female, new to the lifestyle and honestly not sure that I want to continue, I love the lifestyle but have been confused by how some of the couples have handled themselves. I am quiet and shy and may seem standoffish but Im not..just takes me awhile to warm up, I think this has made people not interested, Im not sure. My question is...Im having a hard time dealing with people that ignore you if they arent interested, yet in the beginning really pushed to meet. How do I deal with that? I would much rather hear someone say your not my type rather then leave me wondering what I did wrong.



Dear (Anonymous),

Well, it sounds like these people you've had brush-ins only proved to you what their intentions were. If you're not being rude to anyone and you are being honest with them, then I wouldn't worry.
You see, with single females in the lifestyle, I'm sure you already realize how sought-after you are.
If someone is pushy in the beginning but proceeds to ignore you later, that just tells you that they weren't the type you would want to further associate yourself with anyways. Stop worrying about what other may be thinking of you. If you're truly concerned, politely ask if you did something wrong. But I would suggest just writing off those who treat you in this manner and continue looking for better matches. We all encounter flakiness in life and in the lifestyle. The key is just to shake it off and press on so you can find genuine, fun experiences. Don't give up so soon- you'll find the right fit(s) if you stick around :)
I also suggest that you tell people right up front that you can be shy and quiet, and ask that they not mistake this for you being standoffish. This may help others so that they don't judge you incorrectly.
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