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Question: Wife feels insecure around other pretty women

Dear Lounge Advice,

My wife and I are trying to establish our boundries for the life style. Thus far we have been to two club functions. The first one we partied like rockstars and ended up doing each other next to two other couples we had met previously. We had a great time.

The last time we ended up hooking up with another couple we found attractive. Before things got two serious the wife split and I found her a couple of minutes later crying. She was apparently intimidated by the beauty of the other woman??? I dont understand because my wife is a total hottie... She and I agreed to take it slower. Is there anythin I can do to make her feel more comfortable? Feeling a little helpless...

Sincerely,

(Anonymous)

  
Dear (Anonymous),

Yes, there is certainly something you can do. It sounds like she is insecure about herself and may feel that you'll find someone else more appealing than her. That prospect, for anyone, can be extremely unsettling. What you need to do is establish more sense of security with her. She needs to know that she is the most beautiful thing to you. Plus, you're in love. With the lifestyle, looking/playing with another person is purely a matter of lust.
Let her know that you still lust after her, but that because you love her, it's a whole different thing than you'll ever experience in a lifestyle situation.
Just telling her once will not be enough. You need to reassure her regularly.
Many women, upon first entering the lifestyle, will inevitably feel that thier mate will find something more appealing.
Establish and reaffirm your dedication to her. As time goes on, she will feel more comfortable knowing that another woman can't steal your attraction and affection.
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