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Question: Profile needs

Dear Lounge Advice,

I have been in the site for some time... I used to have a different account as a couple. And we got tons of invitations for events. However
when I broke up with my girlfriend I changed my account and I posted my profile as a single guy. I have several friends(girls) That I can invite to events. However, since I changed my profile I dont get that much activity or invitations ...

Can you check my profile and options etc... and give me some advise to get in touch with others?

Thank you in advance and
Happy New Year 2008 =)



Dear (Anonymous),

I'm sure you already know that as a single male now, you will find it more dificult to interact like you used to as a couple.
I'd recommend a few things.
First, post more pictures of yourself. That is always a plus for any profile.
A candid photo of you at home, playing with your pets, or out with friends showcases your personality. A professional headshot or a formally attired full body photo exudes a sense of sophistication.
Your profile should attest to your character, personality and attitude. Hereís a non-example of a single maleís profile:

Iím a single looking for fun. Iím an in shape professional with brown hair and brown eyes. I like to go out and meet people and have fun. I love sex and pleasing the ladies. I am searching for a fun attractive female or a couple who likes to have a good time.

Not only is this profile short and non-descript, but it could be a description of the majority of the population. This gives no insight to the author of the profile and has nothing to distinguish it from the thousands of other bios. The information provided is a statement of the obvious. Naturally, if youíre a single male, youíre on a swingerís site looking for fun and seeking to meet people. A description of appearance shouldnít be necessary if you have included a nice array of photos showcasing your looks.
Every man enjoys sex, and most enjoy pleasing women, so that was another statement of the obvious. As for the last sentence, well, what else would someone be searching for? I certainly wouldnít expect any man to indicate that he is searching for an ugly partner or couple to show him the worst time of his life.
Not one thing in this profile does anything to further this manís cause. Itís too general and does not show an inkling of personality. Hereís an example of a more comprehensive and detailed singleís profile:

Take a look at my pictures to get a general idea of my appearance. A healthy lifestyle is important to me and a personís habits say a lot. I am financial manager with a wild side. Since my job doesnít bring me the greatest thrills life has to offer, I make up for it in other ways. I have a penchant for trying all things adrenaline related, so roller coasters, sky-diving and white water rafting are a perfect fix. These things arenít too shabby for keeping up the physical appearance either! Even though I love to partake in the aforementioned thrills, quiet time and solitude are also a must. Reading is a passion, and I love just about every genre, from sci-fi to historic fiction. Education doesnít stop when a person graduates from college. I couldnít fathom not learning new things from my readings every day. Iím a pretty multi-faceted guy. Why am I here? Iím not here with a primary focus on Ďgetting laidí. Mostly, the people in the lifestyle are just more fun than friends that are made in the vanilla arena. I just love to be around people who donít harbor inhibitions and I enjoy the candid nature of others who can talk about anything and everything without fear of reprisal. Even if I never get the chance to be a part of the sexual side of this lifestyle, I would be perfectly happy just having the company. Iím open to joining ladies or couples for intimate encounters, but I certainly donít expect it. Itís a known fact that single males have earned a slight reputation for being pushy, and I do not intend to further that reputation. You can always expect nothing less than respectful behavior from me. Iím always open to chatting on IM, and a no-pressure night out of your choosing.

This profile delves deeper into the authorís personality. This isnít a blanket essay that could be applied to the majority of the male population. The latter profile conveys a sense of personality and depth. Mind you, itís not a life story that someone will be seeking when combing through single males, just a thoughtful overview of a more Ďdimensionalí person with whom they can enjoy themselves.

So try these things and keep up a polite pursuit. Hopefully, this will help move you toward better success now that you're single :)

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